Day Seventeen: It's Got to Get Worse Before It Gets Better

"It's Got to Get Worse Before It Gets Better".

That's a phrase the professionals at the ABC Clinic have told us over and over as of late... and this weekend we saw the truth of that in action. I am far too tired (physically and mentally) to try and describe to you all that transpired... so I will only give you the highlights...

- Katie had a HUGE emotional rage/fit on Saturday which lasted a little over 1/2 hour and needed to be sequestered in the guest room till she could calm herself down. This took place on Saturday when her "BFFL" (Best Friend for Life) Cheyenne had a sleepover.

- Cheyenne knows about Katie's emotional challenges and was amazingly understanding towards her. Later, when Katie told Cheyenne to not come to the house anymore because she gets out of control and can't stop it, Cheyenne told Katie she knew about her 'problems'... and questioned why couldn't she come to the house. Katie said it was embarrassing for her to be seen like that... at which Cheyenne replied, "Oh Katie... that's okay... you don't need to be embarrassed in front of me. I'm your best friend and I'll always love you even when you're out of control and angry. Don't ever feel embarrassed in front of me. I love you. We'll always be friends."

- I am starting to have memory "black outs" in which I can't remember sections of a day. This has happened twice in the last two days where people around me had to tell me about things I have said and done (albeit nothing noteworthy) because I can't remember. It's scary, but the folks at the clinic say this is normal when a person is physically and emotionally drained. It's the minds way of coping with great emotion when pressing through a difficult situation. They say we are doing a good job pressing through and maintaining consistency in using our new parenting skills, but I need to get as much rest in as I can when I am in a neutral place. (No kidding...)

We had to leave the house earlier this morning (I was up and showered at 4:15 AM) and were on the road at 5:15. Katie had her first weekly blood test this morning in which she did AMAZINGLY well. She actually giggled as they drew her blood (a nervous little giggle) and not once did she whine or complain. I was so proud of her.... and I could see she was proud of herself too.

The rest of the day was non-descriptive. She had a good day with no serious incidents, and the drive home was a breeze. The Dr. told us the level of medicine (from the test this morning) was very low, and now we could raise the dose of her Lithium up. I started that this evening.

When I got home, I fell into bed and took a very good 3 hour nap. Can you say "HEAVEN"?

The rest of the evening I got to go to my Bunko Game Night (that gathers the first Monday of every month). It was a nice time to "Play" with my friends while Mark stayed home with Katie. I didn't win any prizes for the night, but I did get time away from my current 'life'... but in a way, I still won.

Outside of a small meltdown, Katie did rather well at home with Mark and went to bed on time. She is still having a difficult time expressing her feelings in written form and resisting the "homework" her psychologist has asked her to do. I pray she engages herself eventually and succeeds at these self help tools.

Chow.
Susan